The atomic bomb that detonated over Hiroshima, Japan, on August 6th, 1945, was a fission reaction. Two masses of volatile materials (uranium-235) were forced together quickly, causing neutrons to be released from the nuclei of a few of the atoms. Those neutrons careened off and smashed into the nuclei of other atoms, which in turn caused those atoms' neutrons to split from their nuclei and fly toward other atoms... and this continued in a chain reaction that within milliseconds spread from just a few atoms throughout the entirety of the mass of volatile materials. The result was an enormous explosion that killed and injured over a hundred thousand civilians and changed the entire course of human history.  

Perhaps the most disturbing part of that event is that it all started with subatomic particles no one could see. But enough of the volatile materials had been combined together so that the total amount of material reached "critical mass", the point at which merely one more wayward neutron added to the mix would start the chain reaction. Equally disturbing is that, once the reaction started, no one could predict exactly where those flying neutrons were going to go or which of the surrounding atoms they would hit, and yet everyone would soon know just how utterly devastating the overall results would be, regardless of the order in which the atoms were struck. 

When a father provokes his child to wrath (Eph 6:4), it can be like an atomic bomb denotating. A few small "neutrons" of barbed sarcastic comments, overly critical assessments, or snarky retorts from a father can penetrate into the core of a child who has been holding onto some resentment or bitterness for some time, setting off a chain reaction of emotions and events whose sequence is difficult or even impossible to predict, but whose effects will almost always leave a large crater where there was once life and vibrance. 

Now, it's easy to take this statement by Paul at face value and assume that he is addressing the father who is needling, nagging, or neglecting his child in a way that causes the child to simply lash out angrily back toward the father. And certainly, that is one possible scenario. However, Paul only tells fathers not to provoke their child to anger, but he doesn't tell the Ephesians how that provocation might occur, nor does he indicate the target(s) of the child's resulting anger. So how else might we envision this playing out? 

Let's examine the childhood of a hypothetical boy named Mike. Mike's father is a Christian, but one who struggles at times to emulate Christ as he should. Perhaps the father frequently runs down his wife when he's talking to Mike, pointing out all her flaws and deficiencies, or even giving Mike a very one-sided account of a disagreements the father and mother have had. Could this provoke Mike to become resentful toward the mother and blame her for being such a burden to his father?  Or maybe the father constantly talks up the accomplishments or talents of Nancy, Mike's sister, while completely overlooking Mike's successes and good qualities. Would it be possible that Mike could become envious of Nancy and embittered toward his sister? 
Or what if Mike and his dad are riding down the highway in the car, listening to Dad's favorite talk radio host mocking or railing against the current or previous political administration, and Dad is laughing heartily at all the jokes, or raging right along with the host? Isn't it likely that Mike could have his own rage stoked against leaders appointed by God, or that he might have anger stirred up in him against authority in general? 

What if Dad regularly comes home from worship and starts to systematically tear down the preacher's sermon over lunch, enumerating all the poor analogies, PowerPoint faux pas, and the preacher's perceived lack of energy while ignoring the truth and power of the message presented? Could it be that Mike might be provoked to anger toward the preacher, the elders, or even the church as a result? 

Worst of all, how might Mike react if he only ever heard his father talk about how terrible, corrupt, and unfair this world is, never hearing from his father about the unfathomable beauty and wisdom behind God's creations (including people, whom He created in His image)? Isn't it in the realm of possibility that Mike might be provoked to anger and a hardened heart toward God Himself for creating such a harsh environment for us to inhabit? 

Again, we mostly think about a child's anger being directed back toward the father because of the father's words and actions toward the child. But that's only one possible outcome. A child's anger can be launched toward mother, siblings, government or authority figures, church leaders, or even God because of his father's words and actions. Most often, these are said or done without forethought or consideration of their long-lasting impact. Unfortunately, that lack of forethought or intent doesn't do anything to reduce the damage to the child and those around him. 

James warns about this destructive power of the tongue: "How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire!" (3:5, ESV). The course of a child's life (and even the lives of those around him and his descendants) can explode into chaos as a result: Children can grow up to treat their own spouses with the same contempt as their parents exhibited, become estranged from siblings who should be among their closest companions, turn against their friends, lose confidence in authority figures in government and the church, and even lose their faith in God altogether. 

Otherwise, unthinkable outcomes like divorce, emotional or physical abuse, chronic strife within extended families, divisions in the church, and total rebellion against God suddenly become very real possibilities, wreaking havoc among families, churches, and societies where there is a history of parents unintentionally provoking their children to anger through their careless words and deeds. 

So how do we parents prevent this from happening? 

First, clearly, we must take extra care of what we say and do, especially toward our children. But that is only one aspect of our responsibility toward our kids. Paul addresses the other aspect in the second half of Eph 6:4: we must "bring them up in the discipline (training) and instruction (warnings) of the Lord". 

If we want to defuse the bomb of anger within our children, the most effective way is to reduce their volatility. We must train them up in the way they should go (Prov 22:6), and we must show them the examples given throughout God's Word of those who suffered the consequences of letting their anger go unchecked. After all, that's why we have God's Word--to get instruction from their examples (1 Cor 10:11). Teaching our kids through example to love all humans as Jesus loved us (John 13:34-35) and to forgive as we have been forgiven (Eph 4:32) will make them less prone to reaching "critical mass" as the result of an unintentional word or deed.

“Get behind Me, Satan! You are ^[j]an offense to Me, for you are not mindful of the things of God, but the things of men.” Matthew 16:23

Peter had just made “The Great Confession”. The one upon which Jesus said, “I will build my church.” Not only that, but the Master declares, “the gates of Hades will not prevail against it.”

This was, Jesus told the disciples in his hearing, not revealed to Peter by “flesh and blood”, by the world but by His Father in heaven. It was revealed from the mind of God.

Peter made the declaration, Jesus affirmed its divine “things of God” origin and that it was indeed the “rock” on which the Messiah would build his everlasting church and by extension, the restoration of his kingdom.

At this point Peter was “mindful” of the things of God. But when Jesus continued the story of “HOW” the church and kingdom would be inaugurated Peter’s mind switched, perhaps understandably to the “things of men.”

In order for the church to be established, for the kingdom to come, Luke says, “ ⁴⁶ Then He said to them, “Thus it is written, ^[l]and thus it was necessary for the Christ to suffer and to rise from the dead the third day, ⁴⁷ and that repentance and remission of sins should be preached in His name to all nations, beginning at Jerusalem.” Luke 24:46-47

This was not the way Peter, the disciples or the Jews in general envisioned the coming of the Messiah and the restoration of the kingdom to its former glory under David and Solomon. They believed the promise, the things of God but their how followed the ways of men.

My, oh my, isn’t this such a familiar story for us all. We want the things of God [his promises], we are mindful of his commands, we are committed to doing “many mighty works in His name”, but in fact we are doing His will, man’s way. We are in fact aware of some things of God, but in how they are done, we are mindful of the things [and ways] of men

Here are a few examples that should give us pause and cause us to reflect, to examine ourselves.

Abraham and Sarah were mindful [aware] of what God promised, but their patience wore out when they decided that the “how” the child of promise would come, required “the things of men”. What problems that created for so many.

Naaman, wanted to be healed. Elisha told him what to do to be cleansed, the “things of God” but Naaman was only seeing things [mindful] of what he thought [men’s way] should be done for healing, so he walked away from God’s promise and way of healing. God’s will rejected because it wasn’t done in mans way. When Gehazi, Elisha’s servant saw all the treasures Naaman was ready to give Elisha, he decided to do something mans way and calling it God’s will. He lied to Naaman to get treasures for himself.

Joseph saw God’s way even though he suffered the injustices of man’s way, [his brothers] trying to thwart the promises, prophecies revealed in Joseph’s dreams, “You meant it for evil, but God meant it for good.”

The nation of Isreal, in spite of seeing the miraculous delivery from Exodus, hearing about the promised land, “the things of God” wouldn’t trust, weren’t mindful of how God would be with them conquering the land, they were only mindful of the things of men, “we are but grasshoppers” in their [the giants] sight.

Fewer things have been more profoundly, concisely or truthfully stated that when Isaiah said, For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord. ⁹ “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways, And My thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:8-9

One of the biggest challenges we all face is being mindful of the things of God and not the things of men. Jesus emphasizes this in so many ways, “Seek first the kingdom of God and all these things will be added to you.” [Matthew 6:33], “Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus.” [Philippians 2:5], “⁸ Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.” [Philippians 4:8]

This is of course a process of awareness, willingness and growth, “¹² Not that I have already attained,^[c] or am already perfected; but I press on,” says Paul. [Philippians 3:12]. As the hymn we often sing reminds us, “None of Self and All of Thee.” It is the hymnist says a progression from all of self, none of thee, to some of self and some of thee to none of self and all of thee.”

It is God who works in us both to will and to do His good pleasure. [Philippians 2:13].

Pray that we will be more mindful of the things of God. The What…The Why and the How”

The last thing Jacob remembered was his father Isaac trembling at the moment he realized he had not blessed his firstborn and favorite son. Jacob also had the echoes of Esau’s “exceedingly great and bitter cry” [Genesis 27:34]. Jacob knew, Rebekah knew and warned him with these words, ““Surely your brother Esau comforts himself concerning you by intending to kill you.” [Genesis 27:42] There was no doubt in the mind of mother or her favorite son, Esau hates you and has nothing but revenge on his mind.

As Jacob fled to Haran, these were the deep and lasting memories of home and family. In Rebekah’s mind this fleeing to safety would be but a few days but the separation lasted years.

Such is the case many times in life, dramatic events in many different ways create seismic shifts in the course of life’s pathways, twists and turns of fate. This was for Jacob, Esau, Rebekah, and Isaac such an event and fork in the road.

The few days for Esau’s anger to subside may have taken place but because of the separation each brother’s life took on a new life of its own. Time and chance happened differently for them both and led them to entirely different circumstances.

For Esau, it appears from the story, did calm down, the secondary blessing he received from his father turned out to be “enough”, more than enough and over time Esau did move on from his foolish decision, his intense hatred and anger and his vow to kill his brother.

For Jacob though, the lingering threat, the intensity of Esau’s hatred, the echoes of his father’s trembling anxiety over the deception, betrayal and bestowing the birthright to the second born son, stayed fresh in Jacob’s mind. Time had passed but to Jacob, he had no way of knowing for sure that the same was true for Esau and his rage. It was still a very real possibility he would face.

As Jacob got word of his brothers approaching along with 400 men, it could only mean one thing is his “guilty as charged mind”. This would be the day of reckoning he had fled from and was dreading for a long time He could run no more. Jacob needed a plan…fast.

Here is where this encounter takes a prescient, almost prophetic turn in events, for Jacob and for Joseph. The parallels and life lessons are eerily connected.

1. Jacob had tricked, betrayed his father in an act of deception that caused his father tremendous grief. Joseph knew this story. And would later relive and revive in his own way an act of deceptive treachery.
2. Now Joseph saw his father facing the consequences of those actions. His uncle was coming with 400 men and his father was, “greatly afraid and distressed.” [Genesis 32:7] Joseph would see this same fear in the eyes of his brothers many years later.
3. Joseph witnessed his father “hat-in-hand” in humility, submission, and contrition make plans and preparations for the unavoidable necessity to face someone he had long ago wronged. Years later Jacob would again send gifts and provisions with his sons as a sign of humility and contrition to the same son who witness these acts before his uncle. [Genesis 43:11-14]
4. Joseph saw his father and his mother bow before his brother. We know he would later dream that not only his brothers, but his father as well would bow before him. [Genesis 33:1-7]
5. Joseph saw his uncle, Esau, who had been wronged, tricked and betrayed, magnanimously forgive and forget such a significant loss. [Genesis 33:8-12]
6. Joseph witnessed in his uncle’s story, demeanor and graciousness an aggrieved man who had in spite of setbacks and betrayal, moved on, prospered and realized that God had still blessed and prospered him. Esau saw in these blessings and circumstances, the obligation to forgive and be equally gracious to his brother.
7. Joseph saw his uncle Esau embracing his father in tears, with sincerity and kindness. This highly emotional reconciliation obviously stuck with Joseph, not only in his memory but as an example to follow.
8. Years later Joseph would face his brothers as the aggrieved, the wronged, and yet the one how had prospered. He would see his brothers bow before him, not only fulfilling his teenage dreams but recalling to memory this dramatic moment between his father and uncle.
9. Joseph would relieve the fear and trembling he saw in Jacob only now in his brothers before him as the one in authority. Joseph would remember the mercy and magnanimity of Esau in this moment as well.
10. Joseph would also recall the tearful, emotional embrace between Jacob and Esau as was overwhelmed by the sight of his family, their acts of repentance, humility and contrition.
11. Lastly Joseph could see not only from the lesson he learned from Esau, but in his own life, “What you meant for evil, God meant for good, and I have prospered…all is forgiven.

Repentance, reconciliation, compassion and mercy are powerful spiritual concepts to grasp and to emulate. God provides healing, time does its work if we are willing to see God’s hand, hold fast to what is good, forgive those who have wronged us and prepare ourselves for restoration.

Our children are always watching how we handle life’s good moments and those that are dramatic and hard. They will draw from these lessons when they face moments such as these as well.