Articles
A Marriage’s Worst Enemy
A Marriage’s Worst Enemy
“Let each one of us please his neighbor for that which is good, unto edifying. For Christ also pleased not himself…” (Romans 15:2,3)
Having harmony, peace, and unity in marriage would be a hard task, especially when both spouses live separate lives in selfishness. The way to oneness in marriage is never achieved with self-interest. It only increases the possibility of conflict, threats to leave, isolation, and frustration…
All a spouse has to do to drive a marriage to divorce is stubbornly ignore the needs of their spouse. Prefer your fishing and hunting; be consumed in hours and hours of shopping; sit at the bookstore and read for hours; go visit your parents as much as you want; only remember the two most days of the year: your spouse’s birthday and anniversary (Oh, Valentine’s Day); and you will be well on your way to building a wall between you and your spouse…
Defeating selfishness, marriage’s worst enemy, each spouse has to SURRENDER. Not looking out for MY needs, but the needs of others (Philippians 2:3,4). This was and still is the mind of Christ (v.5). Why is my submission to my spouse such an important mindset?
Marriage takes on submissive responsibilities. Each spouse has them. The husband’s assignment is love, provide, honor, cherish, nourish, lead, and serve. The wife’s assignment is submission, respect, help, support, and love. Marriage is where you decide to LET GO OF YOU to put on the life of another, not for the fringe benefits it brings, but what is in the best interest of your spouse. The rewards of marriage are received from how much of YOU is placed into the life of your spouse, not what you get out of your spouse.
Your Saturdays are not yours any longer. They are your spouses. Your football seasons are not yours. They are your spouses. Your evenings are not to be spent alone, but together. Your hobbies are not as important as your spouse is. Running errands is not a “his thing” or “her thing”. It needs to be an ‘our thing’. There are some THINGS which need to be surrendered in order for ONEness to have its place in your marriage.
Your marriage is bigger and better than YOU. BE LAST. That is God’s way. It was the way of God’s Son. It is the way your marriage becomes loving, hopeful, and united. It is not because my wife changed me, or I changed my wife, but God changed both of us…
Jesus showed us instead of wanting to be first, we must be willing to be last. Instead of wanting to be served, we must serve (Matthew 20:28). Instead of trying to save our life, we must lose it (Mark 8:34-36). We must love our neighbors (our spouses) as we love ourselves (Matthew 22:37-39; Ephesians 5:28,29). Defeating selfishness in marriage is give up, give in, and give all…
